Irrational Fears

I know many--if not all--people have irrational fears.  I mean fears that aren't the normal things like spiders, enclosed spaces, or heights.  Sure you can be afraid of those too, but I'm talking about fears that seem completely stupid, improbable, silly, and/or nonsensical to anyone else.  The problem with these fears is that they always seem completely probable, serious, and terrifying to the people that have them, and those people never have the chance to explain that their stupid fears make perfect sense.
So, that is what I'm going to do for you today.
My stupid fears and why they coincide with my logic:

1.  I have this crippling fear of mysterious detached hair.  You don't know the questionable hygienic philosophy of the person that fell off of.  Maybe they don't believe in bathing.  What if that person belongs to some strange religion that teaches that washing the grease out of your hair allows evil spirits to enter your brain??  ...Okay, yes. It's irrational, but still, thinking about it gives me goosebumps... and makes me gag.

2.  I can't drink out of water bottles that have condensation all over the inside.  It was weirds me out.  Plus, it seems like a waste of all of those little water particles.

3.  I'm afraid that when I die, I might die with my mouth open...  A spider could crawl down my throat and nestle itself right in my dead stomach.  Gross.

4.  Ever since I was a little kid, I've always had the compulsion to wipe my silverware off on something before it can go in my mouth.  I've always thought that when I picked up a new utensil, a little crumb would be cringing to the back side of it and I would unknowingly eat that dusty, stale particle of food that I did not want in my body.

Anyway, those are all of the socially condemning quirks I'm willing to share at this time.